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Freezing with Fear

by bevbarnes on March 31, 2010

When you know the truth in your heart, your body and your soul…….ACT…do something about it. 

Even if your brain hasn’t jumped on board or figured it all out yet. 

I have a tendency to wait before I act.  Sometimes I wait so long that I forget that I wanted to do something.  I decided to bring this problem out into the light because it’s time to let it go and maybe I can help someone else.  I have had jobs, relationships and hairstyles that lasted way too long and I’ve had a million fantastic business ideas that have never seen the light of day. 

The first time I became consciously aware of this problem, aside from my tendency to procrastinate, was in a job evaluation that I had about 20 years ago.  My boss reviewed how I worked and how I made decisions, and told me that I always knew the right thing to do, but often I waited too long to act on that knowledge.  He told me that eventually I did act but acting sooner would have a much greater impact.

It was a tremendously insightful comment and I chewed on it for quite a while but I didn’t know what to do about it.  I gazed in awe at those women that oozed active, in-control energy.  I called them the IN-CONTROL  DOERS and ached to be like them instead of FREEZING like a deer in headlights…and then going to take a nap.

I have finally wrapped my brain around this issue and have found a solution that makes sense.  Since I am driven to share solutions as soon as I find them, I am sharing with you.  I hope it helps you too.

FREEZERS and IN-CONTROL DOERS are two halves of the same problem.  It is not just FREEZERS that have a problem, IN-CONTROL DOERS do too.  They are both fleeing from emotions they don’t want to feel!

Usually fear.

Freezers respond by doing nothing and In-Control Doers respond by doing everything humanly possible to get tangible results.  We are the same.  We both don’t want to feel fear.  Freezers stop moving, like a deer in headlights, hoping to avoid the fear and Doers accelerate their action hoping they can outrun it.

Since DOING is more socially acceptable and actually gets results, DOERS usually get rewarded for their doing.  This results in them wanting to do even more and getting even better results (to the pain and anguish of us FREEZERS).  However, if DOERS don’t listen to their bodies they get burnt out and a whole list of undiagnosable pain conditions (that FREEZERS never have to worry about).

FREEZERS just beat themselves up by calling themselves lazy, unmotivated and constantly comparing themselves negatively to DOERS.  They don’t get physically sick but they end up believing their negative thoughts and get stuck in the vicious cycle of not doing which leads to feeling worse and worse and leads to even more non-action. 

So what is the solution?

The solution is to LISTEN.  Listen to your body, to your intuitions to your heart…and when you know with your whole being that something is right for you, whether it is moving to a new city, not taking that promotion or ending that relationship then you must ACT.  Don’t wait for your mind to support you.  Make decisions with your body and soul’s wisdom, NOT by doing a list of the pros and cons. 

This is also the answer for the DOERs out there.  Stop and listen.  When your body says rest, REST.

Why does knowing this help me to start doing when I freeze? 

Because I stopped beating myself up.  Nothing is wrong with me because I FREEZE in the face of fear.  It is just how I react.  I no longer judge myself.  I just recognize it.

And when I FREEZE, I know that my solution is to ACT.

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