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To Quit or Not to Quit!

by bevbarnes on August 9, 2010


Ahhh summer vacation.  Hours spent sitting on the beach, jumping in the waves, playing volleyball and mini-golf with the kids and even a little time to have some great sunset dinners with your spouse.  You return to work renewed and refreshed.   

 By noon on your first day back to work you forget that you ever left.  Your pre-vacation blues are back.  By mid-afternoon you are planning your exit strategy.  You are certain that this job is not for you and you start beating yourself up that you haven’t had the guts to quit before this. 

If you feel agonized about the thought of staying in your job and panicked at the thought of quitting, then you are stuck in a classic dilemma:  damned if I do, damned if I don’t.  The either or dilemma.  I know from personal experience that this is a painful place to be.  What is most important to realize here is that your mind has created this dichotomy.  It is not either one thing or the other.  This type of thinking helps people stay on yo-yo diets for years. Seemingly contradictory desires can co-exist.  Let me repeat:  seemingly contradictory desires can co-exist.  When you accept this reality and stop struggling with it, you get unstuck and have moved one step forward to your right life.  So you can actually not want to quit your job and want to quit your job at the same time!

 Step one to finding freedom is to name your contradiction.  In this case:

 I have to stay in my job or quit my job.

 Next, rewrite the exact same statement creating an intention that will allow you to do both actions like this one:

 I intend to both stay in my job and create a way to quit my job.

 Notice how you respond to this new statement.  If you feel a sense of relief then you are unstuck. Now you know that your plan is to create a way to quit even as you stay in your job.  The energy that you used beating yourself up about your inaction is now free to help you find a way out.   

 Here are some concrete steps you can take to fulfill that intention: 

 1.  Take baby steps. 

A baby step is a tiny step towards your goal.  A baby step feels easy.  You might decide to keep track of your real expenses or start to notice what kinds of activities you feel passionate about of even just start a Career Ideas journal.

 2.  Discover your passions.

Notice what you love, what you are passionate about, what makes your heart sing.  Your passions will be your inner GPS and help you to determine your career direction. 

 3. Bring more of the real you into your job.

So many people go to work, leave themselves at home and pretend to be someone else so that they can fit into the corporate culture.  Not being who you really are at work is a big energy drain.  One way to be more real is to admit that there are tasks that energize you and tasks that drain you.  Find ways to do more of the tasks that energize you and less of the tasks that drain you.  This may involve some creativity on your part, delegating, dumping or even trading tasks with a colleague but it is well worth it! 

 4. Bring more of yourself into your life OUTSIDE of work

 Start doing something that you have always wanted to do but have never done.  Often adding something to your life changes everything.  You need the positive energy and inspiration that you will gain by doing something you love.  Get a puppy, take a dance course, start a blog, learn how to cook, practice meditation.  Start doing something that feels like fun and moves you in the direction of your passions even thought you don’t know where it will take you.  Your passions always lead you to your right life.

 5.  Take a risk; propose a project.

 Think of your work like a series of projects designed around what you love to do.   Do you see a need that isn’t being filled in your workplace that you would love to fill?  Propose it to the powers that be.  Whether it works or not you will learn some valuable lessons about YOU and what you have to offer and who needs your services.

 6.  Consider portfolio work.

 Maybe you don’t actually have to find a traditional job to quit your old one.  Maybe you just need a service that you offer and people that need that service.  This is called portfolio work; a non-traditional, flexible career form.  As a solo-entrepreneur you can contract your skills and knowledge to various clients and organisations, in effect creating a ‘portfolio’ of work activities.  You might discover what I did, that portfolio work is the path for you!

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

winning roulette system July 23, 2011 at 11:49 am

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Bev Barnes July 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm

You are welcome!


Rex Ryan August 9, 2011 at 2:41 pm

This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!


Bev Barnes August 9, 2011 at 6:19 pm

I’m glad it made you think of something new!


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Bev Barnes August 22, 2011 at 10:48 pm



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