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Follow up on Brenda and her Kids

by bevbarnes on November 14, 2011

During the month of October I offered Pay What You Can Coaching. I donated 100% of what I made to a trust fund established for my friend Brenda’s kids.  Thank you for helping me to raise $1600 which all went to the trust fund that’s been established for Hayden and Paige.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you!

Brenda’s kids are doing well.  They are fun, strong and resilient….just the way Brenda raised them.  Their father is now a fixture in their lives and is trying his best to make up for his absence during Brenda’s illness.  I’m optimistic that Brenda is guiding them all from where ever she is.

Brenda’s message is to live every moment, no matter what your circumstances.  That’s what I learned from being her friend.

LIVE.

EVERY.

MOMENT.

Here is a part of Brenda’s story:

My amazing friend Brenda, died on Sunday, September 18.  She was 48 years old and had 15 year old twins.  She had a rare form of incurable cancer.  She lived her life well and she was deeply loved by her children and her friends.

  • If you were pregnant with twins and they were born prematurely at 26 weeks, could you be happy?
  • If you were pregnant with twins who were born prematurely at 26 weeks and both had cerebral palsy, could you be happy?
  • If you were pregnant with twins who were born prematurely at 26 weeks, both with cerebral palsy and your marriage fell apart, could you be happy?
  • If you were pregnant with twins who were born prematurely at 26 weeks, both with cerebral palsy, your marriage fell apart and you had no financial or emotional support from your ex-husband, could you be happy?
  • If you were pregnant with twins who were born prematurely at 26 weeks, both with cerebral palsy, your marriage fell apart, you had no financial or emotional support from your ex-husband, or support or contact with your family, could you be happy?
  • If you were pregnant with twins who were born prematurely at 26 weeks, both with cerebral palsy, your marriage fell apart, you had no financial or emotional support from your ex-husband, no support or contact with your family and you developed a slow moving extremely rare incurable cancer could you be happy?
  • If you were pregnant with twins who were born prematurely at 26 weeks, both with cerebral palsy, your marriage fell apart, you had no financial or emotional support from your ex-husband, no support or contact with your family and you developed a slow moving extremely rare terminal cancer, and it started to inexplicably grow faster and faster could you be happy?

My friend Brenda could.  These were her circumstances – and she thrived.  She created a family comprised of friends that she hand-picked.  Most of us were with her on her last night.  Her circumstances did not control her life.

She lived with gusto. 

She did what she loved, she gave love to everyone around her and she learned her soul’s lesson in this life time, to accept and ask for help.

Cancer ended her life, but it did not stop her from living.

When her children were born she stepped into her personal power.  She pulled all of her natural talents, her personality, her brilliance and her energy together and focused it on giving her children the life that she knew they deserved.

And she did it.

She advocated with schools and the government to provide the services her children needed.  Her children rode horses, skied, swam and had art lessons.  They both trained for the Para-Olympics in swimming.  She raised funds to pay for controversial treatments that were only available in England at the time.  She participated in a home makeover show in order to get help paying for the renovations she needed as her children grew.

She did all of this on a Parole & Probation Officer’s salary.  She never took no for an answer.  To read an article about Brenda, click here.

 

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