Free resources for coaches and healers who are passionate about purpose.


How to Make the Right Decision

by bevbarnes on August 30, 2012

Are you struggling to figure out what to do next? What business to start?  Where to move?  What services to develop?  Which program to launch?  What niche to pick?  What to make for dinner?  What to wear to the party?

If you want to decide based on your inner true desires and not your socially conditioned way of thinking then there is only one indicator that a decision is right.

Love.

Love is the signal.

Joy is the feeling.

Unbounded energy is the indicator.

An inner smile is your body’s reaction.

Gratitude is the result.

Love is the only compass you need.

Not romantic love or “The Bachelor”/Hollywood love but felt sense love.

The kind that you feel throughout your body when you are awe-struck with nature, or when you see a new born baby or a baby animal.

To make a decision, follow what feels like love.

Even if it makes no sense.

Even if you can’t explain why.  Even if you are afraid.

Love is the only thing that’s real.  We make up the rest. 

Everything else is a story that you’ve told yourself.

Follow love, don’t follow fear.

If you feel love and it’s tinged with fear, don’t allow the fear to stop you.

Fear does not indicate which way to go.

Fear tells you that you that the decision you are making will move you into the unknown.  The mind doesn’t like the unknown so its normal function is to come up with reasons why whatever you decide won’t work.

To make a decision, do this:

1.  Write down the options that you have.

2.  Visualize yourself following one of those options.

3.  Notice how it feels.  Do you feel awestruck, like when you are in nature, like when you first saw your newborn or your puppy?  Do you feel tight, clenched or indifferent?

4.  Keep your mind out of your decision. It will try to jump in. Allow yourself to focus on the physical sensations in your body. Just gently imagine pushing all your fearful thoughts aside. Put your fearful thoughts in an imaginary container for now. They don’t belong in this part of your decision.

Love tells you that you are on the right path for you – no one else. Love leads you to your passions. Love leads you to your true calling in life.

5. Decide to do what feels like love. Don’t do what doesn’t feel like love.

6.  Repeat with each option.

This is so simple it’s crazy. I feel dumb even writing about it. But I’ve learned that most people don’t do this. I sure didn’t – and I still have to remind myself to follow what I love and not what I think I should be doing.

The only way to live the life you were meant to live and do the work that you were born to do, is to follow what feels
like love.

I LOVE hearing from you. Let me know on the blog when you followed what felt like love even though everyone thought you were nuts – and how it worked out OR when you didn’t follow what felt like love, and how that worked out.

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Sonia August 30, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Amazing! I used to make decision consulting my mind… since I’ve been waked up reading your powerful newsletters! I now focus on physical sensations in my body in different situations looking to feel love inside of me. My thing is to think to a newborn baby, specially my daughters. As I add more joy and love now in my daily life, I will be able to make decisions that feel like love. On my way to my true calling! Thank you so much Bev! 🙂

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Bev Barnes August 30, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I’m really glad that this reminder helps you Sonia. Yay!

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Khurshida August 30, 2012 at 3:23 pm

This is a great passion tip! I am printing it out and sticking it to my wall. Many thanks for sharing your wisdom with us here!

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Bev Barnes August 30, 2012 at 3:26 pm

You are so welcome Khurshida!

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Janelle August 30, 2012 at 8:08 pm

As always, I love your posts. I forwarded this to a couple of clients who are in the process of making decisions. For me, following what felt like love was becoming a coach – every step of the way. Not everyone saw it that way! I literally had a colleague who called me up after I gave my notice at my previous work and said, “Are you out of your mind?” And yes, I was. I was out of my mind, and in my body. Much better!

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Bev Barnes September 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Hi Janelle. What a great example. Thanks for sharing.

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noreen August 31, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Bev – Your post came at such a great time for me. I found out the contract for my “bridge job” is most likely ending at the end of the year. So I am job searching and trying to figure out what to do. This was a great reminder on how to listen to myself, which I struggle with!

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Bev Barnes August 31, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I’m happy that the timing was good for you Noreen. Trying “figuring” it out with your heart and leave your mind on the side for a little while. xo

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Terri Fedonczak August 31, 2012 at 5:49 pm

As usual, Bev, you are right on target! Thanks for the reminder:)

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Bev Barnes September 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Hi Terri. So glad that this came at the right time for you.

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