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Why It’s So Hard to Tell the Truth.

by bevbarnes on January 23, 2013

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Suppose this year you did something radical?  Suppose that this year you decided to make decisions based on the truth.  Not some absolute truth but your truth – the truth that you know “inside” – the truth that your inner “rightness” meter knows.

 

No analyzing the pros and cons, no researching best practices.

 

Suppose you led your professional life and your personal life totally based on your inner rightness meter?  Your gut.  Suppose you left your verbal mind out of it?  Suppose it was your body that was the boss and your mind was just a helper?

 

If you are saying “your inner what?” you are not alone.  If you are like most people you’ve been taught to ignore the sensations of your body – bypass them and jump immediately into your analytical mind.  Our formative years are spent being shifted from feelers – sensing information through our intuitions, emotions and body sensations to thinkers – relying solely on our analytical brains.  In fact some people believe that the best use of their body is to carry their head around.

 

Wrong.

 

Your non-verbal body takes in far more information about the world than your verbal mind does.  Your mind processes a respectable 40 bits of information per second.  The non-verbal body (intuition, physical sensations) totally blows this number out of the water.  It takes in 11million bits of information per second.

 

Shocking.

 

If you aren’t using your body to make decisions you are probably working way too hard and making many decisions that are wrong for you.

I think that often awareness leads to enlightenment.  I’ve listed some of the key reasons that people don’t listen to their body’s wisdom – their gut.  Below are my list of truthblockers.

 

Truthblockers:

 

  • You already have a plan and don’t want to dump it, or change it, or worse yet not have a plan.  You don’t like uncertainty – like 99% or the human race, and you don’t want to experience it.   (People stay in careers that make them physically sick because of this.)

 

  • The decision that you are making makes perfect sense.  Everything is well thought out; the ducks are all lined up.  When you tell the story about this decision it sounds so perfect that you decide it is truer than the tiny quiet voice in your gut that you hear from time to time.  It isn’t.  The tiny quiet voice in your gut is always your truth. (Bad relationships continue for far too long because of this.)

 

  • You’ve wanted this “thing” for so long that you don’t want to listen to the possibility that the solution you have is not the right one – for you.  Your ego wants to be right.  Your ego will speak so loudly in your head that it will block out the tiny quiet voice in your gut.  Don’t let it. (The dream opportunity that is actually a nightmare falls into this category.)

 

  • You are busy orchestrating the universe and too exhausted, overwhelmed, tense, and hyper focused to even notice that you are feeling like crap.  Overwhelm is an alarm signal that you need to investigate.  You need to take a mini-time out to listen to your gut and figure out what is going on.   (Any complex multi-faceted, all encompassing activity fits here:   a move across country; organizing an event or launching a product or website.)

 

  • You are afraid that listening to your gut means you’ll hurt someone else and you never want to do that.  I’ve mentioned this before here on the blog.  Remember:  your business, someone else’s business, God’s business.  Stay in your business.  You have a right to your truth even if it makes other people unhappy.  And maybe “other people” will just be disappointed, not hurt.  And maybe “other people” will recover quickly and move on.  Your job is to give yourself oxygen first, because if you don’t you won’t be able to breathe. (Unrealistic promises to friends and family members fit here.)

 

  • You don’t want to feel bad.  You don’t want to feel sad, grieve, cry, be hurt, disappointed, feel vulnerable or lose something that you really wanted.  You don’t want to feel. Period.  But it’ll hurt worse later.  You’ll end up hurting yourself and disappointing others more later when the truth comes out.  (Remember Lance.)

 

 

Radical honesty.

 

Telling your truth.

 

Truth happens in your gut – in your psyche – in your body sensations.  Truth belongs to you.  Your truth isn’t necessarily the same as someone else’s.  It isn’t objectively verifiable.  It’s personal.

 

It’s hard to tell the truth all the time.  I admit that.  But it’s essential.  If you want to create the life or the work that is yours, not someone else’s you have to start telling your truth.

 

I LOVE to hear from you.  How good are you at telling the truth and following your gut?  What stops you?  Write your comments below on the blog.

 

 

 

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

gwen January 24, 2013 at 1:17 pm

I loved this so much. I will bookmark and reread often. Thank you!

Reply

Bev Barnes January 24, 2013 at 1:29 pm

You are welcome Gwen. I’m glad it helped!

Reply

Debra Huron January 24, 2013 at 1:46 pm

Thanks again, Bev, for putting life in perspective.
I recently committed a sin of omission (not telling my husband about a little nick in the car) and I realized that it’s not worth trying to protect ourselves from other people’s judgments. They will judge us more harshly when they know we have not been truthful.
Cultivating our own truth is where it all starts. You helped me understand this today.

Reply

Bev Barnes January 24, 2013 at 2:01 pm

That’s a great example Debra. Thanks for sharing it. Now your gut can unclench:)

Reply

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