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Grab My Decision Making Tool

by bevbarnes on April 11, 2013









Do you get confused and anxious about decision making?

I do.

My monkey mind takes off when I have to make a decision. Is this the right choice? Maybe I’m making a mistake. What if I fail? Suppose they don’t agree with me or support my decision? Then I start to feel anxious.

More often than I’d like to admit my decision making has more to do with making sure that other people are okay with the decision than making sure that I am okay with the decision. My default programming and my biggest strength is intuiting other people’s desires – but it’s my biggest weakness when it comes to decision making.

Since I know this about me, I’ve found ways to get back to my core, my centre particularly when I have decisions to make. If you get anxious and uncertain when you make decisions, or forget to consider what you really want, this tool will help you too.

The tool is a modification of the Freeze Frame tool, created by Doc Childre. It is based on this truth: You can’t experience anxiety and gratitude at the same time, ergo when you put yourself into a state of gratitude, the anxiety that comes with the decision making dissipates and the right decision (for you) becomes clear.

I taught this to my students at the First People’s University this week. One student had 3rd row tickets to see Oprah in Ottawa, that his wife had bought as a surprise gift for his birthday. He had a final class presentation on the same day as the Oprah event. He was torn, didn’t know what to do, really wanted to go to see Oprah with his wife, who was driving hundreds of kilometres to meet him, and go to the show – but he was also had his presentation, worth 40% of his mark, and he was presenting with a partner.

I taught him my modified Freeze Frame technique and his decision was clear.

Here are the steps.

Step 1:

Think about the thing that you are trying to decide. Notice what is happening in your body. Notice your thoughts, where your mind goes. Write down your reaction and your thoughts when you think about your decision.

Step 2:

Remember a time that you were filled with gratitude – get specific. It could be the time you were taking your baby out of the bath and wrapping him up in his cozy hooded towel, playing with your dog on the beach on a perfect spring day or anything else where you were flooded with gratitude.

Step 3:

Breathe into your heart remembering that time that you were filled with gratitude. You might want to put your hand on your heart as you breathe and while you are remembering this time.

Step 4:

Go back to your initial issue, the decision you were trying to make. Continue to breathe in through your heart. Listen to what your heart says. Let your heart tell you what decision to make.

Write down the message from your heart.

Okay so what decision did my student make? Do you think that he went to see Oprah and arranged something with his professor? Nope. He decided not to go to Oprah, stay in town and do his final oral presentation because he has a dream to be a First Nations Leader and he wants to honor his commitment to his studies and finish this semester as he planned.

Unfortunately he wouldn’t give me the ticket.

I LOVE hearing from you. Let me know how this technique works for you and your favourite ways of making a decision.

Until next time!

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Laura Bourassa April 14, 2013 at 5:33 pm

Love this Bev and I will use it, first with me and then with others. Thank you for posting it.


Bev Barnes April 14, 2013 at 6:24 pm

Laura, it is soooo easy to do and is a great tool. xo


Lynne April 15, 2013 at 1:27 pm

Beautiful post Bev!
The heart is such an infinite resource of wisdom…
Thank YOU for sharing this simple efficient exercise 🙂

Connexion, Wisdom & Love to all!


Bev Barnes April 15, 2013 at 2:40 pm

You are welcome Lynne. Easy and effective – my kind of tool 🙂


Sandi Shroads April 16, 2013 at 3:03 pm

Hey Bev – great tool – can’t wait to try it out, especially as I have felt decisionally-challenged all my life! I too am super intuitive and empathic and have to be careful not to say ‘yes’ just because someone else wants me to do something or is in the bind.

Thanks for consistently offering such useful and clear content. I always enjoy your posts and classes!


Bev Barnes April 16, 2013 at 4:50 pm

Let me know how it works for you Sandi!


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