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Do you value EASY?

by bevbarnes on May 30, 2013

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Do you unconsciously believe that things should be hard or difficult?  That when things are easy then you are going in the wrong direction? 

Do you believe that you should only get paid if you are working really hard?

Ahhh the dilemma of the soul-inspired entrepreneur.

I have a long history of doing things that are difficult.  I applied to University in Biology.  I was horrible in labs both in highschool and college.  I relied on my lab-partner.  My strength was absolutely not the practical application of science, making formulas or understanding anything that had to do with the volume of a rotating sphere.  But my marks were good because I worked so hard.

Psychology on the other hand was easy.  I understood concepts before they were explained.  I felt like I had been counselling people all my life – friends, family anyone.  I figured that I would learn more in biology because it was hard.

If the voice of my inner wisdom hadn’t stepped in on the day that I was registering for the BSc program in biology, I may have spent my life as a miserable lab technician.  The voice of my inner wisdom was very clear that day and in fact it was the first time I’d ever heard it.  The voice said “What the hell are you doing?”  I had always thought that the voice of your inner wisdom was loving and kind.  Mine was Cher in Moonstruck saying “Snap out of it!”

I listened.

I’ve been gradually dropping some ingrained beliefs:

  • It’s important and will build your character to do things that are hard. The corollary for this is – If you only do things that are easy, then you are lazy.
  • You can only get paid for work that is hard.  The corollary for this is – If it’s easy for you then it’s not valued.

When something is easy for you, do you assume that it is of little value to others?  That you don’t need to be paid much? 

I saw this tricky little belief come up in my work as a Life Coach – by far the easiest job I’ve ever had. I’m sharing this because maybe you’ve had it too.  This is what “working” is like for me:

I coached my Perfect Client this past week. I have many perfect clients.  I LOVE them.  I was a little tired before I got on the phone.  My brain was hurting because I had been thinking hard working on a written document. 

The second that I got on the phone, I was grateful, happy and laser focused.  I felt humbled that I got to share my client’s soul, her vulnerabilities, laughter, and childhood pain that resurfaced.

When I coach my perfect clients, I can’t believe that this is my job.  I feel closest to God – divinely guided.  I know that I am loved because I couldn’t have created this work that I love alone.

Coaching my perfect clients is not work – in the hard, difficult sense of the word – even though it uses my whole heart, my whole spirit and empathic abilities, my whole mind – helping me to construct a phrase.  It is not work even though I constantly adjust my tone of voice and my energy so that I create an energetic bean bag chair where my client can just be – where she doesn’t have to be anyone else than she really is.

For me, coaching my perfect clients feels like play. 

It is so natural that I sometimes feel guilty that I’m getting paid – because this isn’t hard – this is the most natural thing in the world for me.

 Do you ever feel that way?  Wonder how you can even consider getting paid when you are getting so much pleasure from the doing?

Snap out of it!

Think about rock stars, athletes.  They do what feels totally natural for them and they get paid way more than you do.  What makes what you do any less valuable?

Here is a way that I’ve reframed this – that might help you too.

If you need to think that you can only get paid when it’s hard – think about your client.

It’s hard for your client – to sort things out without YOU.

Your perfect client is overwhelmed by their problem.  They wait expectantly by the phone at the time of your call, bursting to share what they’ve been unable to gain clarity about.  They are grateful that they asked for help – finally.  Grateful that God has answered their prayers, provided someone that they feel safe with.  Grateful that they are finally moving out of their stuck places.  Knowing that they could never do it alone.

What you are doing for them is beyond quantifiable – it totally transforms their lives.  It is a healing balm that they didn’t even know existed.  What you are doing for them is worth more than anything else they could purchase except maybe a lifetime of safety and security for their kids.

So if you need to think it has to be hard, to get paid – remember that is is.  It is excruciatingly hard – FOR YOUR CLIENTS.  They can’t, won’t, haven’t been able to do it before you.  That’s why they want to pay you. 

For the value you provide to them.

Respect that.  Respect them.  Respect YOU. 

I love hearing from you. Let me know in the comments below what this post brought up for you!

 

 

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Aimée May 30, 2013 at 4:41 pm

Hi Bev,
Thanks for sharing this! I realised I have a different corollary for:
It’s important and will build your character to do things that are hard.
My corollary for this is –
If I only do things that are easy, then I won’t grow as a human being.

I love the way you recontextualize the answer to this belief!
Thanks & Love! a

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Bev Barnes May 30, 2013 at 5:06 pm

I love your corollary and yes that sneaky one hides there and is very debilitating. Thanks for sharing Aimée! xoxox

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Guylaine May 30, 2013 at 4:48 pm

I hear you Bev! I have gone down way too many work paths that were wrong for me. I’m now in my mid-40s, not currently working (by choice I hope) and taking this time to work through and release many false beliefs so that this caterpillar eventually becomes the butterfly she dreams about. Kudos to you for really hearing your inner wisdom speaking and listening to it at the age you did.

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Bev Barnes May 30, 2013 at 5:12 pm

Good for you Guylaine! I have to say that I heard my inner wisdom at that age but then stopped listening to it on a regular basis until I was in my early – mid-thirties. It’s easy to forget. Congrats to you for working through and releasing all that holds you back from being the butterfly that is waiting to fly! Thanks for sharing this.

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Martina May 30, 2013 at 5:23 pm

Tomorrow I have to teach a class and I prepare like crazy not trusting that my inner wisdom will guide me than. And Yes, I always think I have to deliver more and more and even more for the money and to do so I have to ruin my whole day off which should be today.
I surrender now. Your post calmed me and gave me reassurance that everything will be fine. Thank you! 🙂

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Bev Barnes May 30, 2013 at 5:34 pm

You are welcome Martina. I’m glad this post was at the right time for you. Have a great class tomorrow!

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Kate May 30, 2013 at 7:54 pm

You are always a breath of fresh air to counter the overachieving noise out there! Thanks!

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Michelle Reinhardt May 30, 2013 at 9:38 pm

Beautifully said Bev and such a fantastic reminder. As a recovering ‘hard’ gal, it’s been a practice but it is SO much more fun to do it the ‘easy’ way. 🙂

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Bev Barnes May 31, 2013 at 2:50 pm

Hey Michelle. I love watching the things you are accomplishing by doing it the easy way. Congratulations!

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Ami F. May 31, 2013 at 2:03 pm

Thanks for the tip, Bev. I, too, had a college major that wasn’t what I wanted. My senior year I realized what I had done but couldn’t bring myself to tell my parents I needed to go to school for two more years. How I wish I had! Because I didn’t, I ended up spending 15 years unhappy in my job. I am finally going to grad school this fall to pursue what I probably should have been doing all along. Martha, you and a wonderful local life coach have helped me see this (among other messages!)

You rock!!

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Bev Barnes May 31, 2013 at 2:50 pm

Yay Ami! It is NEVER too late. Happy for you.

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Terri Fedonczak May 31, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Bev, as usual you are right on target…and you made me cry! I struggle mightily with not struggling mightily, and it’s only when I’m with my clients or writing that I can work until the cows come home and not feel like I’ve lifted a finger. Jeesh, can I cram anymore colloquialisms into one comment? I love this post;thanks for being easy..so to speak 🙂

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Bev Barnes May 31, 2013 at 2:53 pm

Terri. You made me laugh out loud. I love your colloquialisms. I’m so glad that this piece resonated for you and hopefully helps you to remember to drop the struggle. Much love.

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rebecca@altaredspaces.com May 31, 2013 at 4:11 pm

I am preparing a new series of classes because of an assignment 🙂 I’ve been thinking about this class on and off for about 6 months. It’s such a BIG idea and I am SOOOO excited about it.

Just because it’s new and I am wrapping my arms around a whole big bunch of categories does that make it HARD??

I want to let myself surrender to the idea that it is PLAY. Your blog here today is helping me on that journey. Thank you.

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Bev Barnes May 31, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Fantastic Rebecca! The fun and play that you have in the preparation will be a part of your program’s energy. Here’s to surrendering to PLAY!

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Kathleen June 3, 2013 at 3:32 pm

Hi Bev! I just came across your site and I’m really enjoying it. I am in the process of transitioning out of my current job and exploring new options. In fact, I recently signed up for Martha Beck’s coach training! I found your story very inspiring and it’s given me hope that I can follow what’s “easy” too 🙂 Hugs,Kathleen

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Janelle June 3, 2013 at 5:57 pm

This is so true. I think there is a great tendency to think that everyone is good at what we are good at, rather than realizing that everyone has different gifts. This concept has been “hard” for me to grasp, because I feel bored when I’m not challenged. I like easy, don’t get me wrong, but I also want problems to solve so I’ve had a challenging time discerning the difference between the two at times. But … what happens for me when I’m going down the wrong path is that instead of wanting to solve the problem, I want to go to sleep at the mention of it! I can’t remember facts related to it, and it can feel as if there were fingernails running down a chalkboard thinking about it. So, I guess it’s more like torture, but that’s definitely what “hard” is for me. Easy is when I cant wait to do it, try it, learn more about it, apply information, and wake up to it. Easy is fun!

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